mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
