You're completely useless in the revolution.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
