you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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