Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
