I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I puked a lego.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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