Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
