i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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