We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
