I have demons in me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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