Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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