I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
