Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
