idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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