Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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