It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
