I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
