Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize