my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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