you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
