just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
