I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
you never un-have a 4some
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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