Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
