her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
