After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
