Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
