I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize