dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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