Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
