i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
