She's JV to your varsity
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
