I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
