I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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