It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
