you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
