I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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