it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
