so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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