Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
