My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
