either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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