How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We named our party play list daddy issues
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
