yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
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Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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