This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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