we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
