id be glad to
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize