Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i now understand why vodka
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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