her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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