sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
