Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You surviving the open bar?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Super asto ex polenta omaha botad

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  (512): You surviving the open bar? (1-512): Super asto ex polenta omaha botad http://tfl.nu/tyvd
  Replies (15) Good night (1791) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  no weekend plans? you're practically married

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  just without the last name or joint bank account

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i'd advise against both

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  (616): no weekend plans? you're practically married (1-616): just without the last name or joint bank account (616): i'd advise against both http://tfl.nu/dufy
  Replies (6) Good night (897) Bad night (1905)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  rhymes with "ouble enetration"

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  (323): rhymes with "ouble enetration" http://tfl.nu/bg50
  Replies (33) Good night (3955) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad

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  (702): Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad http://tfl.nu/156q
  Replies (61) Good night (7148) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

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  (760): Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint. http://tfl.nu/71cw
  Replies (32) Good night (6402) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

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  (419): her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier. http://tfl.nu/ogdc
  Replies (88) Good night (7389) Bad night (1350)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?

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  (214): Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night? http://tfl.nu/uwcg
  Replies (20) Good night (2785) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.

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  (617): Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it. http://tfl.nu/o2t5
  Replies (8) Good night (1497) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.

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  (905): Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass. http://tfl.nu/tco3
  Replies (9) Good night (4356) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips

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  (850): Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips http://tfl.nu/pmcc
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time

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  (816): Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time http://tfl.nu/d70u
  Replies (8) Good night (1294) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.

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  (412): He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent. http://tfl.nu/lgq0
  Replies (7) Good night (1386) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...

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  (267): she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling... http://tfl.nu/2dyo
  Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?

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  (902): Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"? http://tfl.nu/mn11
  Replies (3) Good night (621) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.

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  (716): Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories. http://tfl.nu/jhay
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (261)

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