You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.