Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis? http://tfl.nu/f1iy
  Replies (12) Good night (1490) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings http://tfl.nu/sahq
  Replies (30) Good night (3001) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background. http://tfl.nu/pa5j
  Replies (23) Good night (5708) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite. http://tfl.nu/yk7i
  Replies (22) Good night (8307) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have http://tfl.nu/ddny
  Replies (22) Good night (1083) Bad night (5378)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill. http://tfl.nu/321p
  Replies (2) Good night (2547) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink. http://tfl.nu/akmh
  Replies (3) Good night (2511) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different. http://tfl.nu/qt7m
  Replies (15) Good night (2728) Bad night (1654)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you http://tfl.nu/oj33
  Replies (7) Good night (1950) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk. http://tfl.nu/bh9n
  Replies (2) Good night (1080) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist? http://tfl.nu/g9wp
  Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun. http://tfl.nu/77j1
  Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts" http://tfl.nu/ald0
  Replies (0) Good night (658) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  ...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): ...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails http://tfl.nu/48c8
  Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks http://tfl.nu/w7ql
  Replies (0) Good night (394) Bad night (206)

Randomize