Texts From Last Night

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  (936): View more from Texas

  Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....

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  (936): Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas.... http://tfl.nu/nx5u
  Replies (16) Good night (867) Bad night (5309)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (534) Good night (135835) Bad night (6477)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.

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  (972): I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up. http://tfl.nu/rj29
  Replies (44) Good night (4042) Bad night (835)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  she told me i tasted like america

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  (206): she told me i tasted like america http://tfl.nu/ed46
  Replies (31) Good night (8023) Bad night (1353)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.

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  (928): she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college. http://tfl.nu/99x7
  Replies (50) Good night (9380) Bad night (1298)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.

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  (817): Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was. http://tfl.nu/0op6
  Replies (6) Good night (1049) Bad night (3985)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot

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  (508): i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot http://tfl.nu/slrj
  Replies (6) Good night (1941) Bad night (1438)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.

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  (973): do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again. http://tfl.nu/k33f
  Replies (4) Good night (1404) Bad night (2457)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?

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  (512): Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning? http://tfl.nu/pcyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1419) Bad night (628)
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  (949): View more from California

  I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.

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  (949): I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled. http://tfl.nu/99xj
  Replies (5) Good night (1606) Bad night (1161)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.

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  (832): He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits. http://tfl.nu/umk6
  Replies (9) Good night (818) Bad night (1207)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"

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  (917): she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall" http://tfl.nu/c8ce
  Replies (2) Good night (1712) Bad night (548)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.

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  (902): Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom. http://tfl.nu/6cke
  Replies (9) Good night (1290) Bad night (502)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"

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  (703): Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick" http://tfl.nu/u1nk
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (367)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.

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  (630): I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable. http://tfl.nu/rmza
  Replies (3) Good night (271) Bad night (248)

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