i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.