You work out of a Hotel?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
