Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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