I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
