cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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