News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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