funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
