That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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