Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
