Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
