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I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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