clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So much rum. So many feels.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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