i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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