my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
