Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
