I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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