I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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