I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
