I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
