Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
