I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
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Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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